ACT OF KINDNESS: Young Woman helps Homeless Man, Selflessly Captures it on Camera to Inspire Others on Facebook

New York City, NEW YORK—A young woman offers a homeless man a bottle of water, and in a truly selfless act captures the moment on camera to inspire others on Facebook to follow her example.

Saskia Michaels, 24, was on her way to a lunch-date with a friend in New York City, when she noticed a man lying in the gutter. who she concluded to be homeless based on his clothing and unshaven face.

Seeing an opportunity to be charitable, Ms Michaels offered a bottle of water to the gentleman and asked her friend to take a photo of the heartwarming moment. "Just take like 10 [photos], we'll pick the best one," witnesses heard her say.

Ms Michaels, a Law student in her first year of college, knows just how precious a $3.50 bottle of water can be.

"I knew by giving away that bottle of water, that I would have to eat instant noodles for another three weeks," she told The Bokchoy, wiping tears from her eyes. "But I also knew: that homeless man needed it way more than I did."

After having her post shared over 15,000 times on Facebook, Ms Michaels posted a response to the publicity she received: "I know some people think it was really selfless of me to give away that bottle of water, but the truth is—it's not about how much you give, but how many people see you do it. God bless."

BREAKING NEWS , Education , Health , People , Politics

ACT OF KINDNESS: Young Woman helps Homeless Man, Selflessly Captures it on Camera to Inspire Others on Facebook

Gary Lo Feb 29, 2016

URGENT APPEAL: Person reported Missing in Sunnybank - Black Hair, Small Eyes, speaks broken English, probably Asian

Sunnybank, QUEENSLAND—A person has been reported missing in the Brisbane Southside, whom witnesses say has Black Hair, Small Eyes, and speaks broken English. Sunnybank Police are offering a Cash-Only Reward for any information.

On Sunday, 28 February, 2016 a person, believed to be of Asian background, went missing in the Brisbane Southside. According to witnesses, he or she has black hair, small eyes, and speaks broken English.

Authorities have urged the community to come forward with any extra information that might narrow down the identity of the missing person, such as: the make/model of the car they drive, where they most frequently buy their Bubble Tea, and whether they prefer to eat Rice or Noodles.

"We've been told the missing person is around Early-20s in appearance—unfortunately, our information suggests they are of Asian background, which means their actual age could be anywhere between 20 to 45," said Constable Robert Jeffreys, Head of Missing Persons Unit.

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URGENT APPEAL: Person reported Missing in Sunnybank - Black Hair, Small Eyes, speaks broken English, probably Asian

Gary Lo

Researchers have Scientific Breakthrough in diagnosing Narcissistic Personality Disorder with 100% Accuracy

Seattle, WASHINGTON—Scientists from the Global Institute of Mental Health have found a way to diagnose Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Gold Digger Syndrome with 100-percent accuracy by observing an individual's Facebook usage.

Hailing Mark Zuckerberg as a genius, the researchers from the Global Institute of Mental Health (GIMH) developed a formula in correlation with a person's Facebook activity to determine whether or not they were obsessed with self-image and impressing others.

"Without Facebook's existence, this breakthrough wouldn't have been possible. Now we have a sure way of identifying serial attention seekers," said Professor Erik Bunsenmeyer, GIMH's Head of Mental Health Research.

Although Personality Disorders have been difficult to diagnose for many decades, the introduction of social media has significantly simplified the process.

"If a person posts at least one Selfie a day, or posts an Instagram of every single meal they eat, or uses the Check-In feature to brag about where they went—you know who to unfollow/unfriend, it's the most accurate method we've found,"

While 95-percent of Facebook accounts are primarily used for stalking an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or for spying on potential suitors, this new discovery actually makes using the social media platform a worthwhile experience.

"When you get engaged to a woman, take note: if she uploads photos of her diamond ring from more than one angle [...] yeah, that's a sign of Advanced Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Gold Digger Syndrome—I'd call off the engagement right away," said Kyle Durndham, Dating Coach. "Relationships are so easy, dude. Isn't Facebook amazing?"

BREAKING NEWS , Business , Education , Health , Technology

Researchers have Scientific Breakthrough in diagnosing Narcissistic Personality Disorder with 100% Accuracy

Gary Lo Feb 28, 2016

Private Equity Firm finished with Dick Smith, seeks new venture - "3,000 jobs lost? Who gives a F***, we just made $500 million"

Sydney, NEW SOUTH WALES—Following its successful turnaround of Dick Smith for a $500 million profit at the cost of 3000 Australian jobs, private equity firm Anchorage Capitalists is on the hunt for its next victim venture. The Bokchoy's Business Analyst Milo Fernandez reports.

With over 400 years of combined experience in dishonest bookkeeping and underhanded business practice across its entire team, Anchorage Capitalists made the 'turnaround' of Dick Smith look easy.

"This shit was F***ing easy dude, just like stealing candy from a baby—or in this case, stealing life savings from dumb investors," an Anchorage Capitalists staff member boasted on their Twitter account. "The best part is that it was all legal."

Other information suggests that Anchorage Capitalists had full knowledge that Dick Smith was a doomed venture, as an ex-staff member reveals the firm had fondly nicknamed the dying electronics business 'Limp Dick'.

The Bokchoy was unable to reach Anchorage Capitalists CEO Philippe Crave for interview, as at time of writing he was reportedly in the Maldives celebrating his firm's big pay day.

However, a janitor from the beach-side resort allegedly overheard the company director say on the phone: "Three thousand jobs lost? Who gives a f***, we just made $500 million..."

BREAKING NEWS , Business , People , Politics , Technology

Private Equity Firm finished with Dick Smith, seeks new venture - "3,000 jobs lost? Who gives a F***, we just made $500 million"

Gary Lo Feb 26, 2016

New Chinese Take-Away Franchise to open in Brisbane's Chinatown - "Our Spring Roll is so good, you'll think we use MSG"

Sunnybank, QUEENSLAND—A New Chinese Take-Away Franchise, CHING Y CHONG (CYC), is set to open in April in Sunnybank, Brisbane's Chinatown District. CYC promises to bring a revival of Chinese food and revolutionise the Spring Roll. The Bokchoy's Lifestyle Journalist, Kathleen Benson, reports from the Brisbane suburb.

CHING Y CHONG - Chinese Take-Away, CYC for short, is the brainchild of Michelin Star-Winning Sydney Restaurateur, Michael Fei-Jai Ching, and Brisbane's own "King of Take-Away", Jimmy Chong.

Mr Chong—whose great-great grandfather was the first to introduce Sweet & Sour Pork to Brisbane's Chinatown during the early 1960s—is a true example of Asian work ethic, not sitting idle after the successful opening of Hungry Chan's in 2015.

"My whole famiry [sic], we are expert in Chinese Take-Away. More than 88 year experience all together," Mr Chong said, while stroking his Fu Manchu moustache.

While CYC will serve a variety of Chinese staples, including Fried Rice, Sweet & Sour Pork, Spring Rolls, Prawn Crackers, and Mongolian Chinese Beef with a twist, the restaurant will not use any MSG in its foods for a completely brand-new never-before-eaten Chinese Take-Away experience.

Mr Chong is confident CYC will bring something new to the table and reignite people's love for Chinese food: "We only use best meat in all our recipe, fresh dog steaks import directly from China, 100-percent guarantee."

The first CHING Y CHONG - Chinese Take-Away is due to open on 1 April, 2016 in the heart of Sunnybank. For updates, follow The Bokchoy's Facebook page.

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New Chinese Take-Away Franchise to open in Brisbane's Chinatown - "Our Spring Roll is so good, you'll think we use MSG"

Gary Lo Feb 25, 2016

Caucasian man escapes Market Square with car unscathed - "I even found a park as soon as I got there, it was a miracle"

Sunnybank, QUEENSLAND—A Caucasian man who managed to escape Sunnybank's Market Square with his car unscathed has been declared a local hero and will meet with Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk to receive an award for his bravery.

Justin Dubbs, known to his mates as 'Dubsy', was at the Sunnybank food precinct enjoying some Yum Cha to celebrate the missus' birthday on Saturday, 20 February. When it came time to leave, Mr Dubbs knew it would take a miracle to get out of the car park without scratching his Holden Commodore.

"I'd heard stories about [Sunnybank], mate, saw it on Today Tonight - Worst Drivers in Australia - and I gotta be honest, I was shittin' myself," he said.

Witnesses say they overheard Mr Dubbs, in a moment of vulnerability, saying a prayer to One Nation leader Pauline Hanson before getting into his car, along the lines of: "Please protect me from the Asians, Pauline" and "Get my Commodore out of here safely, and I promise to vote for you".

According to the authorities, there were only four other white people in Sunnybank at the time, but drawn by the familiar sound of the Holden Commodore engine they rushed to boost his morale for his decisive departure.

"Go you good thing", "That's gold!", "She'll be right, mate," the bystanders shouted, cheering on Mr Dubbs as he reversed from his spot, cautiously evading a Toyota Camry that was going at 40km/h in the car park.

"My heart skipped a beat, and then I saw my chance ... and got out onto Mains Road without a scratch... it was a miracle," Mr Dubbs recalled, sobbing into a can of VB.

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Caucasian man escapes Market Square with car unscathed - "I even found a park as soon as I got there, it was a miracle"

Gary Lo Feb 23, 2016

Sunnybank named and shamed on National TV by 'A Current Affair' and 'Today Tonight' — "Australia's Worst Drivers"

Sunnybank, QUEENSLAND—Sunnybank has been named and shamed on National TV by A Current Affair and Today Tonight, dubbing the suburb as home to "Australia's Worst Drivers".

Brisbane southside suburb Sunnybank has been under scrutiny in recent years for being the Australian capital of bad driving. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, drivers in Sunnybank are more likely to cause and/or be killed in a car accident than anywhere else in the country—by a significant margin of 540-percent. This figure is tripled for Toyota Camry drivers.

With public opinion of the suburb at an all-time low, William Ho-Cheung Wang, acting Mayor of Sunnybank, is set to implement an Incentive Program to get bad drivers off its roads, by offering a Free Can of Baby Formula in exchange for their International/Overseas-issued Driver License, in the hopes that it will clean up the suburb's poor reputation.

The Bokchoy was given a draft document of the eligibility criteria for the Baby Formula exchange (subject to change by actual date of implementation, 1 April, 2016).

According to the Incentive Program, the applicant must be the registered owner of one of the following car makes:

• Toyota Camry
• Mercedes Benz (any Model)
• BMW (any Model)

The applicant's residential address must be within the following postcodes:

• 4109 (Sunnybank, Sunnybank Hills, Macgregor, Robertson)
• 4112 (Kuraby)
• 4113 (Eight Mile Plains, Runcorn)
• 4116 (Calamvale, Stretton)

Mr Wang, who holds a stake in multiple southside Mercedes Benz dealerships, also mentioned he hopes anticipates some people would purchase a new car in order to satisfy the application criteria: "It's ok, we will approve it."

BREAKING NEWS , Business , Entertainment , People , Politics

Sunnybank named and shamed on National TV by 'A Current Affair' and 'Today Tonight' — "Australia's Worst Drivers"

Gary Lo Feb 19, 2016

Parents Outraged over 'Amy Schumer' Barbie - "I don't want my daughter to think being fat & unfunny is OK."

El Segundo, CALIFORNIA—American toy manufacturer Mattel has just announced it will be expanding its Barbie Doll Collection with new offerings in 2016, including a Curvy Body Feminist Barbie modeled by famous comedian Amy Schumer.

Amy Schumer, comedian and actress, is most well-known for her sexual assault on a drunk man—a story she fondly retells as part of her stand-up comedy act.

The doll, to be released mid-2016, bears Schumer's likeness including an exact replication of the comedian's triple chin.

Toy enthusiasts and Barbie collectors have praised the realism of the Amy Schumer Barbie, commenting: "The doll is fat and, to be honest, it's not that funny, well, not funny at all—just like Amy."

A source from Mattel boasted about the advancements that made this new inclusion to the Barbie Collection possible: "Our research & development team came up with a way to make Barbie appear 4 times as fat as before, while still using the same amount of plastic. It's an engineering miracle."

Despite the positive impressions from the community, parents are outraged over Mattel's decision to model a Barbie after Amy Schumer.

"Our little girls grow up wanting to be just like their Barbies, and it's not okay for them to see a rapist as their role model. What's next? A Pedophile Ken?" said Bianca Trey, proud feminist and promoter of love, joy, and peace.

BREAKING NEWS , Business , Entertainment , Health , People , Politics

Parents Outraged over 'Amy Schumer' Barbie - "I don't want my daughter to think being fat & unfunny is OK."

Gary Lo Feb 17, 2016

Women around the world Tactically Update Relationship Status to "Single" ahead of Valentine's Day

Everywhere, PLANET EARTH—Millions of women from around the globe have tactically changed their Facebook relationship status to "Single" ahead of the annual Valentine's Day celebration held on February 14.

Valentine's Day, a tradition that began in the early 20th Century, has always been associated with romantically gift-giving, usually from a man to a woman, and typically to a receiver who does not reciprocate the giver's own feelings.

However, in recent years, the noble origins of Valentine's Day have been twisted into one of sinister intention; the celebration is now commonly abused by opportunistic women to receive a substantial supply of free chocolate, flowers, and even jewelry.

As such, seeking to take full advantage of the tradition, millions of women have updated their Facebook relationship status to "Single", even if they are currently in a relationship or married.

When questioned about her motives for the Relationship Status update, 24-year-old Jenny complained that her boyfriend has never given her a Valentine's Day gift since their romance began in 2010: "Is it wrong for me to want to receive some roses or chocolate, JUST THIS ONCE!? If [my boyfriend] can't give me what I want, then I'll just get it from someone else!"

While some men have expressed disgust at this developments, level-headed observers remain unsurprised, saying: "Who even puts up an accurate and truthful depiction of their life on Facebook anyway?"

BREAKING NEWS , People , Technology

Women around the world Tactically Update Relationship Status to "Single" ahead of Valentine's Day

Gary Lo Feb 13, 2016

Asia's Dog Population on Verge of Extinction after Biggest Chinese New Year Celebration in History

Yulin, CHINA—Asia's Dog Population is on the verge of extinction after the biggest Chinese New Year Celebration in History, along with MSG and Soy Sauce at their lowest ever supply since December 27, 1975.

On the first weekend of February 2016, Asian families around the world enjoyed their annual Chinese New Year celebrations—many of which consisted of a Tsingtao-fuelled traditional Chinese banquet complemented with lion dancing, Mahjong and maths competitions.

However, the conclusion of the festivities was marred by a sharp decline to the dog population around the world—leaving Asian Culture Experts concerned that future Chinese New Year celebrations may never be quite the same ever again.

Another oriental delicacy, Monosodium glutamate (commonly known as MSG), a core feature of Asian cooking—first used as an ingredient as early as 1200 BC—is also in critically low supply after Chinese New Year. MSG is highly regarded as the defining "edge" that separates authentic Asian dishes from cheap imitations.

The Chinese community, outraged with the prospect of eating alternative meats after 5,000 years of favouring canine consumption, is laying the blame on pet owners for perpetuating the culture of castrating domestic animals. Asia's finest cooks have even started a petition calling for an international ban on neutering.

"So stupid to cut the little brother of the dog, then they can't born new ones [sic]. Do you stop the chicken from laying more eggs? No! So why do it with the dog?" said Tak-Ho Zhu, one of the judges of MasterChef China.

BREAKING NEWS , Entertainment , Food , Health , People

Asia's Dog Population on Verge of Extinction after Biggest Chinese New Year Celebration in History

Gary Lo Feb 8, 2016

Business Profits for Asian Restaurant Grow by 800% after offering Free Unlimited MSG

Sunnybank, QUEENSLAND—Business has boomed for an Asian Restaurant after it started offering customers free, unlimited MSG with every meal purchase.

One of Brisbane's lesser-known Chinese restaurants, Canton Canteen, is now one of the city's best-known: not just for its wide range of authentic Asian dishes such as Fried Rice, Spring Rolls, and Sweet & Sour Dog, but gained a lot of public attention for its Free Unlimited MSG with every meal.

After struggling to bring in profits for most of 2015 and on the verge of shutting down, the original owners of Canton Canteen decided to jump ship and sold off the establishment last November. Sydney restaurateur Denny Fong-Pei Lo, surprised customers, the media, and health inspectors, when he unveiled the strategy to revive the dying business.

As of February 2016 the restaurant already has plans to expand to a second location, much to the pleasure of the Asian community; Lo gave The Bokchoy an exclusive hint on the plan for his next venture. The Canton Canteen owner promises "One Free Can of Baby Formula with Every Meal Purchase" in a bid to take over the Brisbane restaurant scene.

BREAKING NEWS , Business , Food , Health , People

Business Profits for Asian Restaurant Grow by 800% after offering Free Unlimited MSG

Gary Lo Feb 1, 2016