Seattle, WASHINGTON—Scientists from the Global Institute of Mental Health have found a way to diagnose Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Gold Digger Syndrome with 100-percent accuracy by observing an individual's Facebook usage.
Hailing Mark Zuckerberg as a genius, the researchers from the Global Institute of Mental Health (GIMH) developed a formula in correlation with a person's Facebook activity to determine whether or not they were obsessed with self-image and impressing others.
"Without Facebook's existence, this breakthrough wouldn't have been possible. Now we have a sure way of identifying serial attention seekers," said Professor Erik Bunsenmeyer, GIMH's Head of Mental Health Research.
Although Personality Disorders have been difficult to diagnose for many decades, the introduction of social media has significantly simplified the process.
"If a person posts at least one Selfie a day, or posts an Instagram of every single meal they eat, or uses the Check-In feature to brag about where they went—you know who to unfollow/unfriend, it's the most accurate method we've found,"
While 95-percent of Facebook accounts are primarily used for stalking an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or for spying on potential suitors, this new discovery actually makes using the social media platform a worthwhile experience.
"When you get engaged to a woman, take note: if she uploads photos of her diamond ring from more than one angle [...] yeah, that's a sign of Advanced Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Gold Digger Syndrome—I'd call off the engagement right away," said Kyle Durndham, Dating Coach. "Relationships are so easy, dude. Isn't Facebook amazing?"
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