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Sunnybank, QUEENSLAND—An Asian man has woken up from a 48-day coma and shocked his famiry by immediately asking for a bowl of Hakataya Ramen.

Po-jin Lau, 36, fell into a coma back in early April after causing and surviving a dangerous car accident in the Market Square carpark in Brisbane Southside suburb Sunnybank.

Mr Lau, who is one of many Asians in Brisbane who drive without a valid license, was very lucky to be alive.

After a grueling 48 days, with family and medical staff unsure if he’d ever wake up or suffer from permanent brain damage, Mr Lau woke up, and although he struggled to speak, when he finally did, he uttered the words: "I want Hakataya Ramen."

Doctors asked Mr Lau what he experienced while in a comatose state, and the patient recalled vivid dreams.

"I had a terrible nightmare, I want to wake up wery badry [sic]—in my dream, everybody who drink Sakuraya get the diabetes and died! And they still charging $10 for a milk tea!" said Mr Lau.

Mr Lau now has a second chance at life, and hopes to get back on the road soon.

BREAKING NEWS , Business , Food , Health , People

After 48-day coma, Asian man shocks famiry with first words 'I want Hakataya Ramen'

Gary Lo May 16, 2016

Shanghai, CHINA—Chinese counterfeiters have mass-produced replicas of George Zimmerman's gun which was used to kill unarmed black teenager Trayvon Martin, with the intention of passing them off as the original, which ended auction at $65 million (USD) with Hillary Clinton as the highest bidder.

In February 2012, white supremacist George Zimmerman shot unarmed black teenager Trayvon Martin during an altercation between the two. The killing has been identified by commentators as a critical moment in American history, rivaling the assassination of President John F. Kennedy in 1963.

Mr Zimmerman, unable to find employment since the incident and living in a country with no welfare system, resorted to pawning the iconic weapon he used to kill the teenager in order to ~~fund future attacks on innocent black people~~ feed his family.

Through an online auction, the pistol, affectionately named by gun enthusiasts as the 'Ku Klux Kannon', attracted a final bid of $65 million (USD) by US Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. Seeing the potential for money to be made, Chinese counterfeiters immediately began mass producing replicas of the 'Ku Klux Kannon' with the intention of selling them online to America's racist community.

Chow Chan-bun, a 6th-generation counterfeiter, comes from a long line of artisans—in fact his descendants were the first Chinese to popularise replicas of Louis Vuitton bags.

"There is only one Ku Krux Kanon, but there are 200 million racist living in America—so demand wersus the suppry is very big. It is basic economys, even 5-year-old Chinese boy can tell you," Mr Chow said.

Mr Chow's replica will retail for an initial price of $34.50, with discounts offered for bulk purchases. Readers are welcome to order their own replica 'Ku Klux Kannon' through The Bokchoy's online store.

BREAKING NEWS , Business , Politics

COUNTERFEIT KINGS: Chinese Replica's of George Zimmerman's Gun flood online stores - "More profit than selling fake LV Bag!"

Gary Lo May 14, 2016

Sunnybank, QUEENSLAND—The Mayor of Sunnybank has publicly extended an invite to movie star Johnny Depp to return to Australia, emphasising that the actor's dogs will always be welcome in the Brisbane Southside suburb.

Johnny Depp, best known for his role as Captain Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of Caribbean movie franchise, violated Australia's strict quarantine laws in May 2015 by bringing his dogs to this nation's shores without declaring them to officials.

When Australia’s agriculture minister Barnaby Joyce threatened to kill Mr Depp's dogs, Pistol and Boo, residents from Brisbane Southside suburb Sunnybank were outraged.

Known for their love of animals, especially dogs, Sunnybank residents issued death threats to Mr Joyce.

"Don't let the white man kill a dog, they don't know best way to preserve the fravour in the meat!" cried one Sunnybank woman on her Facebook.

A Change.org petition started by the Mayor of Sunnybank's office back in May 2015, titled "Save Depp's Dogs" gained over 800 signatures in 2 hours.

Now, a year later and following Mr Depp's official apology for his actions, Chi-pang Low, incumbent Mayor of Sunnybank, has extended an invite for the Hollywood actor to return freely to Australia with his pets in tow.

"Jonny Dapp, come back to Sunnybank anytime, and bring your dogs too—we will welcome them wery much," announced Mr Low on his Twitter.

BREAKING NEWS , Entertainment , Food , People , Politics

Mayor of Sunnybank extends open invite to Johnny Depp to return to Australia - "Your dogs is always welcome here"

Gary Lo May 12, 2016

St Lucia, QUEENSLAND—The creator of racist Facebook page, Humans of Sunnybank, has gone into hiding after forgetting to logout of their Facebook account from a public-use library computer at the University of Queensland.

Humans of Sunnybank (HoS), one of Australia's most hated Facebook pages, has done nothing but stir conflict between the Asian and Caucasian communities around the nation since its inception in July 2015.

Since its launch, many have sought to expose its creator(s) and put them on trial for their racist hate crimes which undermine the Australian spirit of multiculturalism.

A week prior to writing, it was reported on UQ Stalkerspace, the one and only irrefutable University of Queensland news source, that the admin of HoS had forgotten to logout of their Facebook account from a library computer.

As soon as the news broke, hundreds of responses called for the identity of the racist fanatic to be exposed with some even demanding, "Crucify him!". However, the admins of UQ Stalkerspace put an end to the discussion, citing Rule 6.9 of Section CDXX of the group guidelines: "No witchhunts allowed".

It is now rumoured that the maker of HoS has gone into hiding for fear of death threats, going so far as to change his/her name and gender on Facebook or even stop using the social media platform completely.

If you have any tips on the identity of the HoS creator, please contact The Bokchoy through our Facebook page—we would love to hear from you and write a follow-up story.

BREAKING NEWS , Education , Entertainment , People , Technology

BUSTED & DUSTED: Humans of Sunnybank creator Exposed, didn't logout of Public Computer

Gary Lo

Pyongyang, NORTH KOREA—The Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un has promised for North Korea to produce all future Nuclear Weapons using 100-percent Recyclable Parts, to help do its part in making the Earth a better place. The Bokchoy's Undercover Journalist, Nigel Fry, reports.

Kim Jong-un, Supreme Leader of North Korea, has declared that his nation will in future only use 100-percent Recyclable Parts to build Nuclear Weapons.

North Korea, known for its reputation of being the world's leader in nuclear power, now wants to focus its scientific efforts on saving the world.

The dictatorship plans to begin mass producing these recyclable nuclear warheads in June 2016, with the intention of fast-tracking the new technology and distributing it to neighbouring countries.

"Soon we will have the powar to send renewable materials to anywhere in Pranet Earth—faster than you can say 'Nucrear Raunch Detected!'," boasted Professor Park Jin-baek, North Korea's leading nuclear researcher and former professional Starcraft Terran player.

As of writing, Mr Kim Jong-un has received a Nobel Peace Prize nomination for his contribution in preserving the planet.

BREAKING NEWS , Health , People , Politics , Technology

EDEN OF THE EAST: North Korea to use 100% Recyclable Parts in all future Nuclear Weapon Production

Gary Lo

St Lucia, QUEENSLAND—A Bachelor Degree that will charge students based on their racial background at the University of Queensland (UQ) has sparked outrage online with some students calling it discriminatory. The Bokchoy's Education Correspondent, Boris Shortbread reports.

The Bachelor of Law/Medicine Dual-degree Program, to be offered by The University of Queensland (UQ) starting in Semester 1, 2017, is the first course of its kind aimed to attract the most elite and gifted students.

The Dual-Degree Program has made national headlines and also trended on social media platform Facebook—but for all the wrong reasons.

A leak of the course profile revealed that UQ planned to charge applicants different amounts for tuition based on their racial background—with Asian Students having to pay up to four times that of a Caucasian Student—sparking outrage among the student body.

A UQ representative has defended the claims, saying: "Students coming from Asia are 100-percent more likely to have a positive bank balance and rich parents than Caucasians—so it's only fair that we charge based on the proportion of money they have comparative to local students."

"Each Bachelor of Law/Medicine Dual-Degree will only cost you the proportion of money that you have comparative to the average Caucasian (so, if you identify as Asian, the course will cost you up to four or even ten times as much)," UQ has clarified on their website.

With Asians making up more than 40-percent of the UQ student body—and growing each semester—there have already been signs of protest on Facebook in popular student group UQ Stalkerspace and Brisbane's #1 ~~Racist~~ Asian Facebook page, Humans of Sunnybank.

"Ok, halp me understand this one—if I go spending all my money on the beer like my white crassmate and live off the Centrelink, then I can do degree for free? Damn, I been doing it wong all this time," said Jim Chang, third-year Engineering/Accounting/Pharmacy student.

The Bokchoy has contacted the UQ Vice-Chancellor's office for comment.

BREAKING NEWS , Education , People , Politics

BUSINESS SCHOOL: University of Queensland to offer Bachelor Degree that charges based on Racial Background

Gary Lo Apr 5, 2016

Canberra, AUSTRALIA—A national survey has found that Average Australians are most likely to vote for a Prime Minister who promises to give out Free Stuff. The Bokchoy's Political Expert, Jerry Shailerton, reports from the capital.

With the next Federal Election likely to occur before the end of 2016, candidates are rushing to gauge public opinion on the best policies for securing voter support.

While the latest approval polls suggest current Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull could be re-elected, a study conducted by third-party group Fudge & Co. Statistics show that voters are actually capable of free-thinking.

The results show that the Australian public is most likely to vote for whoever promises Free Stuff, regardless of their political affiliation.

Among the freeloaders surveyed, over 90-percent of respondents expressed a specific preference for a Muslim-Free Australia and Free Southern Cross Tattoos—making One Nation leader Pauline Hanson the most likely candidate to win the next Federal Election, based on her policy history.

For more Election Coverage, follow The Bokchoy's Facebook page.