Vatican City, ROME—An eavesdropper within Catholic Church headquarters has exposed the real reason why Cardinal George Pell won't return to Australia, for fear of having his flight being hijacked by a Muslim.
Cardinal George Pell, under scrutiny for allegedly sheltering pedophiles within the Catholic Church hierarchy, initially claimed to be too unwell to return from Rome to attend the Royal Commission on Child Abuse.
However, new information from an eavesdropper from within the Vatican suggests Cardinal Pell had other concerns: "I wouldn't feel safe [coming home]. What if a Muslim hijacked the plane? Don't you know that 25-percent of all Muslims are terrorists?"
While the Cardinal has been accused of willfully protecting child molestors/rapists during his tenure as the Archibishop of Melbourne, religious experts have advocated the church leader's innocence, saying he was merely 'following [his] job description'.
"The [Catholic Church] has protected sexual predators for, give or take, some 300 years. It's a longstanding tradition. So I urge the community to stop giving Cardinal Pell such a hard time," commented Dr Jeremy Harding, Professor of Religious Studies at Ashwood University.
The Australian public have reached out in support for Cardinal Pell—"a real national treasure"—with one non-religious fan even composing a touching musical tribute encouraging the church leader to overcome his fear of
"Come home, Cardinal Pell..."
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