North Pole, ARCTIC CIRCLE—Santa Claus’s body has been identified in a horrific sleigh explosion on the outskirts of the Arctic Circle, along with what appears to be elf and reindeer remains.
Santa Claus, spirit of Saint Nicholas, has just been confirmed killed in a tragic terror attack near his toy workshop and home in the North Pole.
Based on black box recordings retrieved from Santa Claus's personal transport, Sleigh Force One, at 2300-hours GMT+0, December 24, 2015 (Christmas Eve), anti-aircraft missiles made contact with the flying vehicle while it re-entered Arctic Circle airspace.
North Pole Air Traffic Control told the The Bokchoy that Mr Claus was running behind schedule in his gift run to Russia, and opted to shortcut through the Arctic Capital instead of flying the long way around.
It is still uncertain what launched the missiles, since one of Mr Claus's chief engineers reported that the cannons are specifically programmed only to fire automatically against ISIS- or Grinch-manned targets.
As the confirmation of the incident spread through mainstream news and social media, families around the world have joined to mourn the death of Mr Claus.
However, despite the bad news, some individuals have chosen to look on the bright side and not let this incident impact their Christmas celebrations.
Forensic detective Marcus Trent commented: “Though Mr Claus and his reindeer disintegrated at the moment of impact, none of the gifts were damaged. We believe Santa shielded the presents from the explosion in a selfless act of generosity—we're truly thankful. It's nothing short of a Christmas miracle".
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