Boxing Day Sales now #1 Leading Cause of Death in Australia - stampede survivor blames Rudd Government stimulus package

Logan, QUEENSLAND—The 2015 holiday season has been a grim one with Santa Claus confirmed dead, and many civilians injured from Boxing Day sales disasters.

On the early hours of December 26, 2015, shoppers camped outside the Logan Hyperdome Shopping Centre in anticipation of Boxing Day sales.

Reports say the line extended into the Pacific Motorway (M1), causing major traffic delays and multiple pile-ups.

Due to the overwhelming number of civilians, riot control and army personnel were on stand-by to keep the fat and sweaty crowd at bay.

From security camera footage taken at 0900-hours, as soon as the centre doors opened, an estimated 15,000 shoppers barged into the riot police flank, killing many of their own and injuring at least one law enforcement officer.

Witnesses say some bargain hunters even hijacked an army tank, using it to barge into the shopping plaza, crushing many Hyperdome staff members in the process.

Despite liberal use of tear gas, water cannons and tazers, the shoppers overwhelmed the police and found easy entry into the Boxing Day sales.

"I... I s-saw... w-who did this... irresponsibly selfish and insane shoppers (ISIS)... please bring them to justice," Marcus Whiteworth, a stampede survivor, told The Bokchoy with his dying breath.

BREAKING NEWS , Business , People , Politics

Boxing Day Sales now #1 Leading Cause of Death in Australia - stampede survivor blames Rudd Government stimulus package

Gary Lo Dec 29, 2015

BREAKING: Santa Claus’s body identified in tragic sleigh accident - "a heinous and cowardly act of terrorism", Christmas cancelled

North Pole, ARCTIC CIRCLE—Santa Claus’s body has been identified in a horrific sleigh explosion on the outskirts of the Arctic Circle, along with what appears to be elf and reindeer remains.

Santa Claus, spirit of Saint Nicholas, has just been confirmed killed in a tragic terror attack near his toy workshop and home in the North Pole.

Based on black box recordings retrieved from Santa Claus's personal transport, Sleigh Force One, at 2300-hours GMT+0, December 24, 2015 (Christmas Eve), anti-aircraft missiles made contact with the flying vehicle while it re-entered Arctic Circle airspace.

North Pole Air Traffic Control told the The Bokchoy that Mr Claus was running behind schedule in his gift run to Russia, and opted to shortcut through the Arctic Capital instead of flying the long way around.

It is still uncertain what launched the missiles, since one of Mr Claus's chief engineers reported that the cannons are specifically programmed only to fire automatically against ISIS- or Grinch-manned targets.

As the confirmation of the incident spread through mainstream news and social media, families around the world have joined to mourn the death of Mr Claus.

However, despite the bad news, some individuals have chosen to look on the bright side and not let this incident impact their Christmas celebrations.

Forensic detective Marcus Trent commented: “Though Mr Claus and his reindeer disintegrated at the moment of impact, none of the gifts were damaged. We believe Santa shielded the presents from the explosion in a selfless act of generosity—we're truly thankful. It's nothing short of a Christmas miracle".

BREAKING NEWS , People , Politics

BREAKING: Santa Claus’s body identified in tragic sleigh accident - "a heinous and cowardly act of terrorism", Christmas cancelled

Gary Lo Dec 25, 2015

"The rice is better at Hungry Chan's" - new fast food chain offers Sweet & Sour Pork, Noodles, Dog Nuggets & more

Sunnybank, QLD—A new Asian fast food chain is set to open on Australian soil in 2016, offering authentic Chinese cuisine at affordable prices.

"The rice is better at Hungry Chan's"—that's the slogan one would hear when walking into a brand new Hungry Chan's restaurant, the first of which will open in Brisbane's Sunnybank.

The restaurant's founder, Tsek Chow-Fan, is confident his brand will bring healthy competition against the likes of Jackpot Dining, Kwan Brothers, Noodle Box and Hanaichi.

"Aussie people want the proper Chinese food at wery [sic] cheap price," Mr Tsek said. "We cater especially for gwei-lo taste and budget. Sweet & sour pork, lemon chicken, fry [sic] rice—all 5-dorrar only."

Although the grand opening of the Sunnybank restaurant is still a few months away, Hungry Chan's is already in talks to set up shop in other Brisbane suburbs such as Runcorn, Eight Mile Plains, and Stretton.

Already planning ahead, the fast food chain will also borrow the tried-and-proven business strategy from McDonald's Loose Change Menu by having its very own Hungry Chan's Cash-Only Menu.

Hungry Chan's: coming soon to an Asian suburb near you.

"The rice is better at Hungry Chan's."

Interested in becoming a franchisee, working at your local Hungry Chan's or just want to find out more? Follow The Bokchoy's Facebook page to stay updated with Australia's next big Asian food franchise.

*UPDATE* We've just received word that Hungry Chan's Cash-Only Menu is not actually a side menu but a reference to the fast food chain's strict payment option policy.

BREAKING NEWS , Business , Food

"The rice is better at Hungry Chan's" - new fast food chain offers Sweet & Sour Pork, Noodles, Dog Nuggets & more

Gary Lo Dec 17, 2015

Chinese community to boycott Star Wars: Episode VII over racist 'Jar Jar Chink' character

Beijing, CHINA—Chinese Star Wars fans around the world have announced a global boycott of the upcoming instalment of the science-fiction franchise, Episode VII: The Force Awakens, just days before the movie's worldwide release.

Sources indicate that the Eastern community became outraged over the film's inclusion of an allegedly racist portrayal of Asian stereotypes after an early cut of the movie was leaked onto Chinese social media website Sina Weibo.

In the leaked video, the character in question is seen on what seems to be a rice farm planet with facial features unique to the Asian race. Furthermore, the apparent Gungan-esque individual was shown wearing what appears to be an ancient Chinese fedora.

"Harro, meesa Jar Jar Chink, prease to meet you! OPPA GUNGAN STYLE!

The character then managed to say a few words in a brief introduction, before being vaporised by off-screen Jawas: "Harro, meesa Jar Jar Chink, prease to meet you! OPPA GUNGAN STYLE!" Fans believe that Jar Jar Chink was stylised to be a distant cousin of Star Wars universe darling, Jar Jar Binks.

46-year-old Jing Kwai-Goong, Grand Master of the Star Wars fan club in China, who has looked forward to Episode VII since he first watched Return of the Jedi with Chinese subtitles in 1984, expressed his outrage at the anti-Asian themes present within the film.

"I want [sic] for many year [sic] to see [sic] Star War [sic] movie again, and I hoping [sic] will find [sic] girlfriend at cinema who like the Star War [sic] as lots [sic] as me ... this make me cry wery [sic] sad," Mr Jing said.

Although the Chinese community will miss out on the biggest movie event of the year, we urge our readers to not don't let their racial sensitivities stop you from tuning in for The Bokchoy's red carpet coverage of the Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens—get live updates straight to your smartphone by following our Facebook, Twitter (@TheBokchoyNews) and Instagram (@thebokchoynews).

*UPDATE* Fans have posted theories that Director J. J. Abram's decision to include Jar Jar Chink was not one he made Lightly, but was potentially under the influence of the Dark side of the Force when he chose to do so.

BREAKING NEWS , Entertainment

Chinese community to boycott Star Wars: Episode VII over racist 'Jar Jar Chink' character

Gary Lo Dec 14, 2015

Brisbane uni student caught lying about ethnicity to improve his grades, will be stripped of degree but keep HECS debt

St Lucia, QUEENSLAND—A Brisbane university student has been expelled after he was caught lying about his ethnicity to improve his grades.

Campus police at the University of Queensland (UQ) detained 23-year-old caucasian male Mitchell Chad, under allegations of pretending to be Chinese in order to be awarded a higher score for his end-of-year final exams.

It is believed the 23-year-old paid $6,000 (partly funded by a student loan from Centerlink) for plastic surgery ... to trick the university into giving him straight-7s and First Class Honours.

Apparently guilty of multiple infringements, the accusations leveled against Mr Chad include:

• Using fake identification with the name "Michael Chan"
• Taping up the sides of his eyes
• Liberally striking the Asian-peace sign at every selfie opportunity
• Pretending to not know English
• Engaging in stereotypically Asian extracurricular activities, e.g. playing DOTA/League of Legends in the Holt room
• Posting Klub Kandy dance party posters around campus

Even friends and peers have come forth to testify against Mr Chad, confirming that he began altering his appearance and behaviour since the start of Semester 2, 2015—including dyeing his hair black, always eating rice, noodles or sushi from the refect and commuting to university on the 169 Bus instead of driving, as he used to do before his unexpected transformation.

It is believed the 23-year-old paid $6,000 (partly funded by a student loan from Centerlink) for plastic surgery as part of an elaborate plan to trick the university into giving him straight-7s and First Class Honours based purely on his nationality, a trend he had observed in all of his Asian classmates.

A spokesperson for the university spoke out against this behaviour, discouraging other students from following Mr Chad's example.

"If you aren't actually Asian and you are found pretending to be one to gain an academic advantage, the next person we catch won't just be expelled, you'll be deported back to your 'so-called' Asian home country on a boat," said Kitty Rodriguez, a spokesperson for UQ. "Good luck with that."

BREAKING NEWS , Education , People

Brisbane uni student caught lying about ethnicity to improve his grades, will be stripped of degree but keep HECS debt

Gary Lo Dec 10, 2015